Barefoot and pregnant

I know where that saying came from. Just look at my little puff balls. There's no way they are going to fit into shoes. Doesn't help that it's 90 degrees outside, and 80 degrees inside.














I'm up to 46 inches now. That's almost as tall as Teo.

33 weeks

Toenail update

Since you're all dying to know...

The toenail sprung a leak last weekend. Blood started shooting, or rather, oozing out the end of the nail where it had separated from the skin. Over the course of 2 or 3 days I was able to squeeze out most of the blood and goo, kind of like draining a big blister. But like a blister, there's now a big space left behind that keeps filling with a thin clearish liquid - pus, I guess. When I press down on the toenail it comes bubbling out.

Prepare yourselves...




...

Several people have suggested Joe take some pliers and get rid of it once and for all. Or even going to a podiatrist to have my nail "professionally" ripped out. Listen people, I am not a fan of pain. There is no way that pulling the nail out of my toe will not be painful. Just the shot to deaden the toe is painful - if you've had a shot in the toe then you know what I mean. I'm just going to let it slowly grow and cut the free-hanging portion off whenever it gets long enough. In 9 months I'll have a perfectly normal toenail again.

Disfigured toenail

I fear for the future of my big toenail. It all started in Mexico about a week and a half ago. For those who may not know (mainly because I never tell anyone anything I'm up to), Joe and I went on a last-hurrah-before-the-baby vacation to Ixtapa, Mexico.







It was kind of a package tour through Landmark. I don't really know how to succinctly describe Landmark Education, so just go to their website to learn more. Anyway, we met up with a group of about 25 people and had ballroom dancing lessons every day. Then while Joe went to a discussion group with them I went to the pool or took a nap or walked on the beach. Very relaxing vacation and the dance lessons were really a lot of fun.

So back to the toenail. The travel information sent to us ahead of time said we should wear thin flexible soled shoes for dancing. Huh? Like flip flops? Slippers? Joe asked for clarification and the response was suede soled shoes, which we don't have, or something appropriate for dancing on a variety of surfaces including wood, stone, sand, carpet, hot coals, etc. We were at a loss. So we brought some sandal type shoes, plus Keen sandals for everyday wear and some flip flops. We decided to do lessons in the Keens because they were more supportive than regular sandals, plus they offered some toe protection - very important when learning to dance with a bunch of people who are also beginners. Very important. Feeling confident in my abilities by the end of the week, I decided to wear regular sandals to the lesson because I thought they would spin better on the turns than the Keens, which they did. So I'm partnered up with Joe, feeling quite at ease going through the T-A-N-G-O (count it out, like bingo) because the instructors keep telling us how well we were doing. Then I stepped forward with my left foot just as Joe stepped forward with his right foot. My big toenail scrapped across the entire sole of his thick, heavy, rubber, traction tire Keen sandal.

The pain was immediate and intense.

I sat down for a few minutes, unable to stand. The nail almost instantly took on a pale bluish hue. Stood up again to dance after a while, even though the toe was throbbing.

The next evening was our farewell dinner/dance/social. I had been carefully tiptoeing around all day, wearing the Keens, sleeping with the foot elevated, and so by the time evening rolled around my toe was feeling pretty good... so I wore open toed sandals, because they were black and went well with my dress. After dinner there was open dancing so people could show off what they had learned during the week. I proceeded to kick my toenail against the heel of my right shoe - oww! But I couldn't stop because the instructors asked us the day before to do a special dance. We had mentioned earlier in the week that we never had a wedding dance - it just wasn't that kind of reception. So this was our wedding dance. We chose the rumba because it had very basic steps and we could do one turn in each direction, so there was little chance of messing up and stepping on each other in front of the group. The dance was very basic but very nice and romantic. No colliding feet and no missteps.



A week and a half later...

The toenail had been feeling fine, though I could still sense the slightest pressure on the nail. Joe and I splurged and went to go see Wolverine in the theater. It was immediately after Saturday night stake conference so I was wearing a dress, and those blasted open toe sandals. On the way up the stairs to the bathroom at the theater I tripped on the last step, and caught myself on THAT TOENAIL! I thought I would pass out from the pain, but had to go to the bathroom (I'm nearly 7 months pregnant, remember?) and quickly make it back to my seat before the movie started. I hobbled back to my seat and could feel my pulse beating in the toenail for the next two hours as blood pooled below the nail.



I'm afraid the nail will be lost. It's beyond repair. The toe is still swollen to about twice the thickness of the other, and the nail is perched on top of the toe rather than embedded. It's too late now to do Kimball's trick of boring a hole through the nail to release the blood. It's just going to fall off.






Yes, my toes are very puffy. You should see them after riding in a plane for three hours. Notice how the cutouts of the sandal are perfectly imprinted on my foot.




So last month when I was debating whether or not to post something gross about my toenail - yeah, it was nothing compared to this. I was simply going to say that I never removed the nail polish from my wedding manicure and it had just barely grown all the way out - 9 months later. I just wanted to see how long it takes to grow the entire length of a toenail. Now I know.

43 inches

Only one inch gain, though I feel much rounder. Maybe it's because everything else is swelling. I think sometimes I don't look as big...


as other times.


We had a fun quick weekend in Utah.


Spent Easter with the family and had fun coloring eggs, lots of fancy eggs. We bought a book on decorating Ukranian style eggs. Multi-step process involving melted beeswax, dyes, varnish and suctioning/blowing out egg yolks.











Some of the tools



Got to meet Eden, and darn it I forgot to take pictures. She's so cute and tiny, like a little doll and she was unfazed by all the loud noises and big faces coming at her. It will be so nice to have Nat, Carlota and Eden here for 3 months. I can't wait to have lots of face time with the baby!

Oversharing

I'm not tech-savvy enough to know how to track readership or to log how many people read this blog. The only people I know who read this are the ones who leave comments, so my posts tend to be more and more skewed towards overly personal/way TMI ramblings aimed at select Ohsiek family members and a few friends. So I may end up oversharing and embarassing myself. Maybe you'd prefer to remain anonymous and watch my posts turn more and more humiliating. For example, I was going to do a post about my old toenail polish, but then realized that not everyone would "appreciate" it in the way that, say, Amy or Sonja would. Yes, Crystelle has posted pictures of her bloody toenails and trench mouth, but I'm not brave enough to do that.

Maybe one day I'll do a reader poll and you can tell me all about yourself.

And since Joe has yet to post anything I've kind of appropriated it as my own. Any requests out there for a Joe post??

Chuck Norris and Susie Derkins

We may end up naming the baby Chuck Norris. He has quick and vigorous kick.

This pictures also came up when I googled Chuck Norris

Also, I got a haircut on Saturday at the mall.

Conspiracy Theories at the Veggie Derby

Saturday night our ward had a veggie derby, sponsored by the EQ. The concept was to attach wheels to the veggie of your choice and send it down a race track and see what happens. It was basically a bunch of former boy scouts living out their wildest pinewood derby dreams. Video cameras and multiple stopwatches (the iphone kind) recorded the action. Participants were allowed, or rather encouraged, to modify their vegetable/fruit/tuber/root. Wheels and axles would be provided. The only stipulation was that the end result had to be at least 50% veg.

I was impressed with the level of creativity on display, ranging from Lego stunt drivers and Peeps passengers mounted onto various veggies, to rooty replicas of the Black Pearl and watermelon rockets. None were so impressive, though, as Joe's Mr. Potato Head. Not sure what the final weight was but, with a massive pipe wrench duct taped to it, that potato had to weigh at least 10 pounds. Pinewood derby rules allow a certain amount of weight to be added to the car to help propel it down the track. Joe took that logic and applied it to the potato, and conducted scientific tests to ensure the wrench was indeed less than 50% of the volume of the potato.

Vehicles were sent two by two racing down the track. A bevy of children waited at the end of the track for the veggies to come flying off, and then chased them around the gym until they came to a stop, either on their own or often with a spectacular crash at the far wall. Ryan brought an unadorned giant daikon, which had rather impressive stability and shot straight to the back wall. Milo's lime-jello-filled red pepper had a respectable run, although without the explosive ending he was perhaps hoping for.

Then came Mr. Potato Head, poised at the top of the track, ready to wipe out the competition. Spectators and judges were told to stand back lest the vehicle were to hit a bump on the track and go flying. A massive pipe wrench with a mustachioed potato strapped to it flying through the air would be, in a word, disastrous. Mr. Potato Head and his puny competitor were released, and Mr PH flew down the track in two seconds flat, destroying all competition. It almost destroyed the video camera too when it smacked into the table where the camera was teetering on a tripod.

A clear winner. Faster than they all. An easy win. Perhaps too easy of a win - that must have been what the "officials" were thinking, because Mr PH was forced to race again, this time with a substandard set of axles and wheels that produced a little too much drag. Unbeknownst to Joe, myself or likely most of the crowd, this second race was used to determine the winner. This came to light at the award ceremony, where I was sure that we would be going home with the grand prize of a 10 pound sack of potatoes. Winners in other categories were named off - Green award, style award, best in show, others I can't recall - and then..... the Overall Winner is... some tiny little rutabaga perched atop a zucchini. The shock on my face was apparent, I'm sure. Joe was busy chatting, perhaps not even aware that his award had gone to someone else. Once he realized the competition was rigged, however, he picked up Mr PH and said "let's go". He'd seen enough. The ugly face of "the establishment" had shown itself. His creation wasn't good enough, or maybe it was too good. He made no direct accusations of fraud, rigging, buying votes, etc., but was convinced that his entry was blacklisted from the beginning. Mr. Potato Head never had a chance.

A quick stop at Dick's (where we unexpectedly ran into the Laytons, who had left the activity 30 seconds before we did - apparently their kids were too busy running after the veggies to be bothered with the baked potato bar at the derby) and all was forgiven, or at least forgotten.

Joe may be remembered at church as the guy who tried to race a wrench in a vegetable competition, but he will always be a winner in my book. aawwwwe